WHEN YOUR LOVE IS GONE?
I should know. I have been divorced twice, married thrice.
A cruel messenger is sent to the rebellious, but God's Word, once heard and obeyed, turns bitter pools into blessings. All of us should pursue righteousness by faith, straining to hear every word that proceeds from the mouth of a heavenly Father. I have lived on both sides of this fence, knowing blessing and the furnace of affliction and hope that understanding gained can now help you.
2. LISTEN WITH INTENT TO OBEY, BUT UNDERSTAND OBEDIENCE IS ACHIEVED THROUGH FAITH!
3. BE PATIENT IN YOUR SUFFERING. GOD WILL RESTORE THE YEARS THE LOCUSTS HAVE EATEN!
4. PUT ON THE GARMENTS OF PRAISE FOR THE SPIRIT OF HEAVINESS. THE BIGGER YOU MAKE YOUR GOD, THE SMALLER YOUR PROBLEMS WILL BE.
5. LOVE YOUR ENEMY AND WATCH GOD FIGHT YOUR BATTLES FOR YOU.
Listen to the song and then, if you so desire, read on for a fuller understanding.
This is a re-visit to an old song, with new vocal and guitars and general sound enhancement from the benefit of better studio equipment in my "Bird In A Tree" home studio. Tony Drake of Lightway Studios is thanked for his beautiful backing arrangement.
Without faith depression can easily overcome you and bitterness could easily steal your future. Putting on the garment of praise takes faith. I did not feel like getting out of bed, let alone praising a God who felt a million miles away. Faith requires one to leap into something that feels unnatural. You feel like swearing not praising, but contrary to your emotions you cry out: "God you are good, You are worthy of praise. Without you I would have no hope, but because of you this agonising pain and depression will soon be over." You can only do this because you trust the words of your saviour more than your feelings. And we all can entrust our lives to such a saviour, because he has shown us how much he loved us, in the agony he endured for us. We are engraved on his nail scarred hands. And guess what. If you keep talking the talk of faith and hope, you will soon be feeling good again, because "faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen." In dues season salvation becomes a reality.
TO DO ALL THE ABOVE YOU NEED HELP? DO NOT ISOLATE YOURSELF.
You need a saviour. Do not try to do this alone. Yahshua, (the Hebrew version of the name translated Jesus in most bibles) is according to the bible, the only name given under heaven by which you can be saved. He chose me and I chose him and I have had no need of another. You really cannot do any of the above without Him. Faith in Yahshua to save, unlocks the treasures and armies of heaven. So do not give in to fear and doubt. Lift your eyes and hope in the one who parted the seas for Israel and destroyed their enemies. They did not ask for that. He just did it, because they obeyed his voice and followed Him into the wilderness by faith. You may need a Moses too, so at a time like this do not isolate yourself. Surround yourself with those you can trust, who are good examples of faith. The salvation of Yahshua will bring you all you need in due season. Faith in his love will leave you full of hope and his hope will never dissapoint you, as long as you are prepared to go through this season without losing faith. He takes not pleasure in those who put their hand to the plow and then turn back.
CRY OUT FOR WISDOM. SHE IS WORTH MORE THE RUBIES.
The Complete Jewish Bible (CJB) replaces rubies, which exists in many translations with pearls. Both are beautiful.
13Happy the person who finds wisdom,
the person who acquires understanding;
14 for her profit exceeds that of silver,
gaining her is better than gold,
15 she is more precious than pearls --
nothing you want can compare with her.
16 Long life is in her right hand,
riches and honor in her left.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.
I know, if you are busy with divorce, this is what you crave right now. Peace. Cry out for the wisdom and understanding which is going to give you what you crave and much more. You will still see good days in the land of the living.
So often during a divorce everyone is just thinking about possessions and getting their fare share, but life does not consist in what we possess. (See Luke 12:15) Fighting over your legitimate right to family goods is not going to bring blessing and may even bring a curse on the very things you gain. Leave it to God and he will restore. The 2nd time round, I had learned this principle much better. If you try to hold on to your life, you will lose it so why not look up and trust as you move on. Just shake the dust from your feet and live a little lighter.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND DIVORCE
While divorce may be inevitable and in some cases separation, prior to it, is an absolute necessity, it does not have to be you that makes that decision. In fact, if you are a Chrsitian, it should not be. If a minister married you then you made God a promise. We bring judgement on ourselves when we brake such promises. Keep God on your side. With a good attitude and determined faith, he will save you and give you a future worth having. A believer should do everything possible to keep a marriage together. In doing so, even if the relationship still ends, the furnace of affliction will do a work in you and you will have peace going forward. When you finally let someone go, it will be in love for them that you do so and you will not become bitter. Live one day at a time, trusting like a child, humbling yourself. In due season God will lift you up. Don't kick stones. You will only hurt yourself. "In quietness and rest there is salvation."
Cry out for wisdom and the spirit of the fear of the Lord.
As a child I knew I would need much help if I were to overcome the pull of darkness in my life. I said to my creator. "Do whatever you have to do, but please get me to the other side. I give you my free will." I was happy to trust Him to freely bend, shape and mould me so that I might finish strong, even if I started badly. When I was older and had tasted the severe pain of my foolish choices, I began all the more earnestly to cry out for the spirit of the fear of the Lord and for wisdom. If only I had done it sooner.
Secondly, hand in hand with the above ...
LEARN TO LISTEN!
As a young man, I was wise enough to seek God's instruction, but foolish enough to then ignore it. I let human voices drown out the words of wisdom and warning which came in the quiet voices of God to my spirit. I frustrated my heavenly Father so much, that he gave me over to what I asked for, and I experienced the leaness that our way brings and ultimately the furnace of affliction, which is perhaps God's last call to the rebellious soul, as he allows the cankered body of death to be burned out of us. I had twenty one years of troubled marriage, which left me even physically scarred and exhausted from fighting fires. However the saddest thing I have had to watch is the scars upon my children. Caught between two worlds they struggle to find a solid foundation or the singleness that brings peace to tortured souls. There was also great financial loss. In my case a small fortune in inherited money, mostly through fighting legal battles and selling homes below value just to get out. The loss of time, was possibly even more difficult to bare. But I learned this. If we allow idols into our lives, our idols will speak to us, for we made them our gods and we will learn that they are cruel masters. But in the end we will say: "What have I to do with idols anymore. Your fruit is found in me." Until that day, we will need to learn to...
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD
IN QUIETNESS AND REST THERE IS SALVATION.
I learned to be patient and endure my cross.
I PUT ON THE GARMENT OF PRAISE FOR THE SPIRIT OF HEAVINESS.
Some days, like some of you, I did not want to wake up, let alone work or even sing for my supper as I literally did at one time during my first divorce. Breaking through the barrier of not wanting to speak let alone praise, resulted in a release of energy and victory that was and still is, when needed, a mighty weapon of warfare in my life.
GOD WILL NEVER TURN AWAY A HUMBLE BROKEN SPIRIT
God will never turn away a broken spirit. He will in due season pick you up dust you off and teach you to laugh at calamity and bend a bow of bronze. Remember Job. Because of Ya-shua, his story can be ours, because we have a righteousness that, unlike Job's, is not our own. It is a gift of our Messiah.
So I found myself awake one morning, way before the sun would come up. I felt my Father wanted to talk to me and got up to do so. "What do you want to do with your life now." Words to that effect are what I heard Him say. "I want to be married again." Twice divorced and battle scarred, I knew I was asking a lot. I had no money, no job and a lot of children. I knew I was not exactly a great catch. "So what kind of marriage are you looking for?" "Well, I would like to marry someone. Maybe a beautiful island girl, from say Mauritius. We could have a wonderful life together and i could go in and out from there and evangelise and sing and so on." "That is not a marriage" came a somewhat jolting reply. Nevertheless, it was not that long a wait and I was married again, but my whole attitude had changed. None of my family even attended my second marriage. This time, I would not make my own rebellious decision anymore. I recognised that I was a man whose "chooser was broken. To choose wisely a third time, I would need help. I decided that I would only marry again if my mother, (my only surviving parent) blessed the marriage (and she did) and if my pastor agreed that it was a good match, which he also did. That saved me from other potential disasters, that would certainly have not been ideal for me and perhaps devastating for my children. Instead today, I am very happily married to a perfect helper and can say that God has restored the years the locusts had eaten.
Pity that before all of this, I had to get to the edge of prison, before I learned that my greatest defence would not be the courts of human justice, but that by loving my enemy and praying for those who despitefully use and abuse me, God would become my ally and saviour. I went from a suspended sentence, relating to maintenance, that I still believe was unjust and losing all my children, to having custody and control of the children of my 2nd marriage and although trouble has been on going, had I grown bitter and not listened to the urge of my Father to find forgiveness and love for my enemies, I know that I would not have found either the strength I would need or the blessings that I have since enjoyed. We must always remember, that were it not for our saviour, we would need to pay the price for our own share of abuse and this especially with regard to the pain we cause our children in divorce.
Martin Luther King